For better or for worse, our choices as human beings tend to be impacted by messages from society, culture, family, and friends. These messages, sometimes known as social pressure, can push us to behave in certain ways or to make specific decisions.
Nowadays everything is online- our lives and us are accessible to others and we are more prone to judge others and get judged by them. All these impact the way we start perceiving things in life, or how we start doing things a certain way so as to please people around us. It is this belief that you need to perform for an always-watching and always-critiquing audience.
People often deny things that they know are right due to societal pressure, fear of rejection, criticism, or judgment. Conforming to social norms is an important part of human behavior, as it allows individuals to feel accepted and valued by their social group. However, this desire to fit in can sometimes lead people to go against their own beliefs and values. When people perceive that a particular behavior or belief is widely accepted or expected by the people at large, they may be more likely to conform to these expectations, even if it goes against their own personal beliefs.
Making decisions based on what others’ think limits us. It keeps us from doing or saying what we really want and sideline our desires which leads to regret.Itkeeps us from living in a way that is true to ourselves.
But question is why we do it to ourselves, and in one of the articles that I read; it was written that-“Approval from others gives us a higher sense of self-esteem. We’re convinced that their recognition matters to our self-worth and how deeply we value ourselves.”
While seeking approval from others may be inevitable, problems may arise depending on how far one goes down that road. When caring how other people perceive us interferes with our own intuition, that’s when you may need to simply follow your heart and do what you feel is right.
By the same token, caring how others perceive us isn’t necessarily all negative. It does make sense to censor what we say to spare hurt feelings, to act appropriately at a religious affair, or to dress a certain way to fit into a designated environment.
Basing your decisions on other people’s opinions is a good way to find yourself dissatisfied and unfulfilled. Most decisions you make have a ripple effect sparking a chain of events that can affect others. This can bring a level of awareness, which is great, and it can also bring hesitation, doubt, and worry. When you come from a place of fear, you hesitate to make a decision. The fear is allowed to spiral into an endless game of “what if?” worrying that others will dislike your idea, that you’re not qualified to make the decision, or in the worst case scenario, that the decision will blow up in your face. You cannot avoid criticism but you can learn to live with it and get to the point where you prioritize yourself or your idea so that you are not sidelined by a critical comment or negative review. There are many ways to help one to stop the ‘people pleasing’ mindset such as practicing self-awareness, focusing on your own goals, practicing self-care, learning how to set boundaries for yourself, reframing negative thoughts and self-judging thoughts, etc.
Ultimately, learning to care less about what other people think is a process that takes time and effort. But with persistence and a commitment to personal growth, it’s possible to cultivate a more independent mindset and live a more fulfilling and authentic life.
